Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
