i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
