Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
