last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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