Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wish you could order shots online.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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