I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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