i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
how does that bad decision feel?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
