How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
