I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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