What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
