I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
