quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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