So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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