smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
