I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
