Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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