You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
