I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
