Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
