and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
