ya dads aren't the best wingmen
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
as a side note pls kill me
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