why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So squirting runs in the family.
I need a burrito and a hug.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Randomize
