careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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