Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize