My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
