Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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