sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
