Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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