cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Randomize
