so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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