And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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