she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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