let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
