Im at strip club and am horny
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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