I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
