We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
