so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just high enough for therapy.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
