you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
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