despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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