He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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