Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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