I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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