Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
