Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
