Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
