You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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