while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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