Do you still have your period?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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