Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
