you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
