So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
