my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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