we have officially lost it.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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