At least make sure they are 18
Why
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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