We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I need mimosas to revive my soul
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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