Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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