dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
