I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
