she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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