Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I bet he comes in French.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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