dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
