You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
