we have officially lost it.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
