Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize