We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
