If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
