There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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