"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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